Bullies

This morning as part of my blog readings, I came across a blog post by one of my subscribed bloggers who was having an issue with name calling. It sort of brought me back to my younger days when I was in school. It might be surprising for some people to know that I was very much bullied at a very young age. If you look at me now, it is hard to imagine me being bullied but you’d probably think that I am a person who was in fact the bully. Well….read on.

I used to be teased and bullied during my early school years because of my small size. Yes, yes I used to be quite small sized when I was in Primary school. I was skinny and short and for that reason I was bullied quite a bit. What made matters worse was my rather unique and uncommon name which resembled a popular local food item. So that became the name that I was associated to for a very, very long time.

I was pushed around, swatted at the back of the head by taller boys when we were in a assembly line (arranged by height of course), and of course pushed. I hate being pushed because I was small and as the Singapore education system would have it, we were required to carry all our textbooks plus workbooks to and from school everyday, resulting in an inhumanely large and heavy back pack. So imagine small boy + heavy bag = high centre of gravity. When an object with a high centre of gravity is pushed hard from behind, it topples. So I did fall down quite dramatically, much to the anger of people behind, who did not see what happened.

So why did I not tell the teacher? Are you crazy? If the teacher escorted me everywhere I would but that was certainly not the case so, I kept quiet. Being from a Christian Brother School, when you progress to Secondary school you’d most likely move to the affiliated “big brother” school, meaning all other kids would move to the same school and that would include the bullies as well.  And so it continued and got worse of course. It got to a point that I could not take it anymore after nearly 8 years of it.

I remember there was this huge guy in my class who kept picking on me. He was almost twice my size and he was evil. From, twisted staples on my chair, to paper bullets being shot to the back of my neck, to the occasional man handling and to the daily naming calling my patience was wearing thin and a monster was brewing inside of me. Then one day, I was so angry and irritated with his antics that I lashed out at him in desperation in front of everyone in class, as luck would have it, there was a bag behind him and when he stepped back to avoid me he tripped and fell hard on his bottom much to everyone's amazement and amusement. The laughs from everyone embarrassed him so much he started to cry!! The loudest laughs came from the other kids who were bullied like me. I did not want to make him cry but, it drove the point home.

My David and Goliath episode became legendary and from that point onwards, no one messed with me, and I was left alone pretty much from a bullying perspective. Life became much better from that point onwards and I was able to start enjoying school finally.

Shamefully, when I left Secondary school and my eventual growth spurt kicked in, I became a bully myself. Yes, I did and now I am sad to admit it, and I do regret it. In my defense I was not the worse bully but I was part of that group. It did not last long as age was catching up and the bully concept was not accepted any longer the older we got. Oh well, I became the person I detested.

Its all part of growing up to be frank. The events leading up to my "uprising" has somewhat defined a part of me and a principle of mine which I still hold on to and that is, "never let anyone take advantage or take me from granted". Of course the regretful bully that I became taught me compassion and control which I have eventually come to master. Looking back, I doubt I will be the tenacious person I am if it had not been for that huge guy who bullied me non-stop.

M 

Peranakan Food and Little Ones

It was truly a fruitful Saturday. Saturdays are normally laundry days followed by French class which is followed by not much else. So last Sat was one to remember.

Cooking Class

Other than having a dream kitchen full with Miele fittings, Chef Rosaline Soon from Grandmothers’ Recipes guided us through 3 classic Peranakan dishes with some useful cooking and appliance tips to boot. It was a morning well spent. Do check out her site and if cooking or food is your thing do try out her classes, I highly recommended them for a fun and relaxing time. Do check out the wife and SY blogs for more pictures. I have a feeling we might be back for more.

Pram Shopping

Yes it is pram buying time. Some might say too early but we are spacing out our big purchases. We more or less settled on a Aprica after shopping around mainly because it is super light and easy to use, as per wife. So finally we made our way to the showroom and got us a pram.  Being an engineer, I am a sucker for technology and the tech behind this pram got me sold.

 

Dinner with Sonia

Finally to top of a great day it was more Peranakan Food from Kim Choo’s in Katong with Selvam and Sonia. In case, you guys were wondering, Selvam is my best bud and Sonia is his daughter and my Goddaughter. I kick myself for not taking any pictures but it was a night of laughs, puzzled looks as Sonia reminisced, she’s 7 and she was talking about her “old days”, and hearty ice cream at Ice Cream Chefs. BTW, we skip French class.

M Thankful

Go ahead have a Guinness!

This blog was started with the idea of capturing the positivity in my life. But if you search into it's annals it did not start that way in 2006. It was a complain site capturing my frustrations. I am glad  made the shift and have tried to keep my frustrations out and the blessings in. So today I am going to bend not break this practice as the blessing is hidden.

To say I am disappointed would be an understatement. However I knew it was coming as mental preparation was required and I was. But the drama that  ensued was really unexpected. The reactions were unexpected. It was a corporate cat fight and if I took a few steps back it was  laughable.

This change at work has been done in a way where maximum "damage" was to be inflicted as such, my cautious approach and mixed emotions. So when the news went out the folks left reeling were up in arms throwing sissy fits and I was in the middle. I hate being in the middle of silly corporate power struggles. I somehow managed to exit out relatively unscathed and with my dignity. I thank God for His divine wisdom to allow me to make the right choices and make the right actions. Of course to the outside world I may have given in too easily but it was my wish all along to let go. So in a sense I got less for more.

Lesson Learned: Trust God in all things, although the first taste might be bitter the sweetness will last a longer time. That’s why God created Guinness!

M in need of a Pint!

Dream of the Open Road

Ok I know I just got back from an amazing holiday with the wife but, for some reason the I feel that I still could do with another trip. Yes, yes I know all of you are saying, yes we all love to be on holiday all the time but with life in the way its not possible. I guess I am in a dreamy mood, just like the time I started a series on Runaway! with trips to five trips to Karakoram Highway, Seattle, Mont Saint Michel, Ireland and Emmaus Road.

But this time, I am dreaming of a road trip. I have detested road trips since my last mega road trip. It was a 4 weeks long trip with 2 good friends in a very small Toyota Sprinter across the Nullarbor Plain. If you clicked on the links, you’d appreciate the mega-ness of this trip and also understand the reason why the detestation of road trips. But now, I am dreaming of endless roads which meet the sky like what’s pictured below, which is an actual picture of the Eyre Highway on the Nullarbor Plain.

Perhaps I dream of a taste or maybe the love tank of driving needs to be filled. Yeah I think it is that. I used to love going on drives. I remember when I was working in Ang Mo Kio and for some stress relief, I used to take a drive to Tuas and back during lunch time. Perhaps I need to do that. Its nothing compared to my Nullarbor Plain trip but I do not think I will do something near that for quite a while.

I think I will find a day when the roads are not so empty and go for a long drive. 

M Dreaming Again…

ME Shall Overcome

As previously blogged, I got promoted, rather surprisingly by God’s grace and currently I am in the thick of things. I also mentioned the spin portion which basically is the fact that I am replacing someone who is leaving, so my new team was not expecting me but rather was expecting something else so that was something that had to be managed and it’s never easy to manage people’s dashed expectations. Then there was my current team who I was expecting to be happy or sad but they were indifferent, almost to the point of “who cares”.

I normally get a little ruffled and move on quickly when such situations occur but this time I found myself, being severely bothered. I found myself starting to feel extremely sensitive and every small thing led to an inward reaction and questions. “Did I say something wrong?”, “Did I do something wrong?”, “What happened?”, “Arrgggh, what’s going on???”

 

The wife, thinks I am pregnant too or her hormones have spread to me. Don’t get me wrong I am chuffed with the opportunity and the challenge and all the fantastic things in my life. But, I am not in a great place at the moment mentally and emotionally. Just feeling a little down…….. but I know ME! And ME shall overcome! My strength is not in me but it is in the one who is greater than me.

M Overcome

Revelation at Gelenggang

There is a new establishment that I noticed at Jalan Gelenggang, which is close to Jalan Leban off Upper Thomson Road. This is a small nest of eateries that often gets missed but its quite familiar to the folks who live around the area. There are a few stars here like Springleaf Taiwan Porridge, Romano’s and a few other popular eateries which are normal chock full of people but personally I will not mention them because they suck or I have not tried them, mostly the former being the case.

Back to the new discovery, its call Al Divo and yesterday we had a first taste of this place. Verdict: We were blown away! At least I was. I did not have much promise for this place as there have been a few eateries opening at this block, which did not survive as this part is quite hidden compared to Jalan Leban. Its right next to Cherie Hearts which incidentally is on the short list for Mojo’s infant care.

The overall ambience of Al Divo is dimly lit, ideal for a romantic dinner, and is very Italian as the tasteful tricolor theme coupled with dark maroon heavy curtains; quite exclusive and expensive looking. Since, we were not expecting much, we did not bring a camera which I now regret.

The chefs are Italians, and that held promise for me because nothing like Italian food cooked by a Chinese or Indian for authenticity. We had some issues with ordering as the waiting staff was not familiar and the Italian chef who spoke little English did not help either. Forgivable for a new place but, the wife was on the clock as she needed to finish a report so speed was essential for us to get in and out.

She ordered her usual marinara, which was not on the menu, but it was an adaptation from Frutti di Mare which was on the menu and we requested for no cream just tomato sauce. I went for Linguine with prawns and pesto. I was hoping that they got the order correct due to the adaptation as personally, I wanted this place to shine, because so far it was so good, although they did not serve any bread but I found out later than they have a cover charge of $5 a diner for dinner, which gives you an amuse bouche, water, soft drinks and aqua della casa (their own flavoured sparkling water).

Food came after a short wait, and presentation wise, it was delectable. We quickly dug in and a were amazed by the authenticity of the cuisine and the richness of the sauces. We walloped what we had fairly quickly as the food was really good. The wife, said it was better than Valentino’s and I agree as to me it was the best Italian food I have tried ever! Rich flavor, bits of chunky garlic, think sauce reductions, pump seafood and al dente pasta! I finished first so I glanced at the dessert menu.

Now I did tell the wife I will not have any desserts after Maldives as I was having desserts for every lunch and dinner there. But there was a signature specialty from the desserts chef, that I had to taste to believe. Its called Melanzine alla Valentina, Valentina being the chef’s name. It’s Eggplant with Chocolate; yup you heard me right, brinjal and chocolate! Normally veges and chocolate do not mix so I had to try it. And folks to be honest it was amazing. Even the wife, who normally shuns desserts had 3 mouthfuls and as a measure that is pretty awesome. Must try, if the trip is made.

Overall, I guess the low expectation levels were super exceeded so even if you have high expectation I think Al Divo can live up to it. They are new so teething issues will be there but, do make the trip down to this corner of Singapore to try this place. I do not normally write food reviews but I think the outstanding food here bears this longish post. Oh price wise, it is a little on the high side, but this place borders on fine dining. We spent $65 in total but it was worth it and I am sure we will be back for more.

M pleasantly surprised.

Back to Work

The first few days have been a rollercoaster of sorts. When I sent out my “out of office” notice last week I received a call from my CEO who was expecting to speak to me the following week when he was in Singapore regarding a job change; “a promotion” he called it. First off, I was surprised he called me as it was the first time he did that, on my direct line, and next was this promotion. I knew it was a spin off something else but I was happy to be singled out for it. Praise God for His favor.

But honestly who does that!??? Dropping a bomb like that just when you are about to go on a much needed holiday. Its seems almost sadistic. You guys might be thinking, eh promotion, what is there to be worried about? Well I did say it was “a spin” so it was not that straightforward, sometimes it never is.

So I tried as much as possible to block this “promotion” out of my mind when I was in the Maldives but it kept creeping in till my wife said “"Ok, lets talk it out”. Smart woman that one. The thoughts did plague me a few times after our discussion but the draw of the island was too great.

So now that I am back to work, the usual stuffs hitting the fan and there is so much to do and as expected “the spin” is on maximum load. For me the maintenance of sanity is key in these trying times. Thank God, for my support structure of my wife, friend and God. But what has kept me sane other than this are the fading memories of Maldives which have been immortalized in the pictures I have captured. Here is one of my favorites in HDR:

 

 

Imagine this vision in front of you as you lie on a four poster bed, with a good book in your hands. An endless soundtrack of crashing waves is playing in the background with some Mozart or Norah Jones on top playing on CD just for an additional mood.

The gentle warm sea breeze is wafting in your open villa door but its cool inside thanks to air conditioning. The love of your life is next to you and this vision of a lifetime in front of you…….

Ahhhhhh…….I am relaxed now…are you? How can you not be!

M still sane.

A good one

This has been a glorious vacation. Much more than all the rest that I have had over the years. Well it's different.

Imagine a small island which in less than 3 minute walk you are on the other side, completely surrounded by the bluest water you have ever seen and with the constant sounds of waves crashing. Ideal relaxation? Yes!

We are at our 4th day and I am still insatiable. My idea of a perfect vacation is staying or travelling until one is raring to go back to work! Let's hope by Saturday night I am that way. Wishful for sure I could stay here a month if I had my way. Hmm I wonder if they are looking for an IT Manager?

M in Heaven