Bullies

This morning as part of my blog readings, I came across a blog post by one of my subscribed bloggers who was having an issue with name calling. It sort of brought me back to my younger days when I was in school. It might be surprising for some people to know that I was very much bullied at a very young age. If you look at me now, it is hard to imagine me being bullied but you’d probably think that I am a person who was in fact the bully. Well….read on.

I used to be teased and bullied during my early school years because of my small size. Yes, yes I used to be quite small sized when I was in Primary school. I was skinny and short and for that reason I was bullied quite a bit. What made matters worse was my rather unique and uncommon name which resembled a popular local food item. So that became the name that I was associated to for a very, very long time.

I was pushed around, swatted at the back of the head by taller boys when we were in a assembly line (arranged by height of course), and of course pushed. I hate being pushed because I was small and as the Singapore education system would have it, we were required to carry all our textbooks plus workbooks to and from school everyday, resulting in an inhumanely large and heavy back pack. So imagine small boy + heavy bag = high centre of gravity. When an object with a high centre of gravity is pushed hard from behind, it topples. So I did fall down quite dramatically, much to the anger of people behind, who did not see what happened.

So why did I not tell the teacher? Are you crazy? If the teacher escorted me everywhere I would but that was certainly not the case so, I kept quiet. Being from a Christian Brother School, when you progress to Secondary school you’d most likely move to the affiliated “big brother” school, meaning all other kids would move to the same school and that would include the bullies as well.  And so it continued and got worse of course. It got to a point that I could not take it anymore after nearly 8 years of it.

I remember there was this huge guy in my class who kept picking on me. He was almost twice my size and he was evil. From, twisted staples on my chair, to paper bullets being shot to the back of my neck, to the occasional man handling and to the daily naming calling my patience was wearing thin and a monster was brewing inside of me. Then one day, I was so angry and irritated with his antics that I lashed out at him in desperation in front of everyone in class, as luck would have it, there was a bag behind him and when he stepped back to avoid me he tripped and fell hard on his bottom much to everyone's amazement and amusement. The laughs from everyone embarrassed him so much he started to cry!! The loudest laughs came from the other kids who were bullied like me. I did not want to make him cry but, it drove the point home.

My David and Goliath episode became legendary and from that point onwards, no one messed with me, and I was left alone pretty much from a bullying perspective. Life became much better from that point onwards and I was able to start enjoying school finally.

Shamefully, when I left Secondary school and my eventual growth spurt kicked in, I became a bully myself. Yes, I did and now I am sad to admit it, and I do regret it. In my defense I was not the worse bully but I was part of that group. It did not last long as age was catching up and the bully concept was not accepted any longer the older we got. Oh well, I became the person I detested.

Its all part of growing up to be frank. The events leading up to my "uprising" has somewhat defined a part of me and a principle of mine which I still hold on to and that is, "never let anyone take advantage or take me from granted". Of course the regretful bully that I became taught me compassion and control which I have eventually come to master. Looking back, I doubt I will be the tenacious person I am if it had not been for that huge guy who bullied me non-stop.

M